“You are too young to know what real love is.”
A line most people have heard before in their lives. I know
the first time I told my mom I was in love I heard that line. I was not one to
date a lot in high school. I would get asked on dates but I was just never
interested in dating. I was the nerd who was more concerned about my education.
This caused boys to treat me like a prize to be won. Who was gonna win a date
with the girl who never dated?
Junior year: He had been one of my best friends for most of
high school. After a rainy night of hanging out we shared our first kiss
standing on my back porch. Even years later, I can still feel the kiss linger
on my lips as I replay the memory. I had
denied my feelings for him for so long it was hard to know that something more
was really there. It took a few stressful days until something more happened.
April 8th : It was a Thursday. Like clockwork
I received a “Good Morning Beautiful” text at 7:23. The normal time he text me
when he was at his mom’s house. I had paced the whole house waiting for that
text. I had been up all night but I had finally decided what I was going to do.
With shaky hands I responded “Good morning boyfriend.” And just like that our
relationship started. I didn't know it then but that one simple text message
would change my entire life.
June 10th : Like any normal high school
couple we celebrated “month-anniversaries”. This was 2 months. Dinner and a
movie. Red lobster (he hated seafood but it was my favorite). We got to take
his stepdad’s jacked up truck (more for his enjoyment than mine). I remember it
clear as day. It is one of those memories you don’t ever forget no matter how
hard you try. We were laying on the couch. He was telling me how much I meant
to him. He started stuttering (a habit he had when he was nervous). But finally
he choked out the words “I am falling in love with you… I am in love with you…
I love you”. The emotional person I am, tears instantly sprang to my eyes but I
was able to get out “I love you too” before burying my head in his neck.
I was 17 at the time. Still so young. But I said those words
and meant it. He was my first love. He always will be. I will never forget the
way he made me feel. Alive. That was the moment I fell in love with love and
the way it made me feel. Yes that love I felt back then was not the same type
of love I am capable of feeling today but I truly loved him with all my heart.
I loved him how I knew how to love. It may have been immature love but it was
the best I knew how.
We aren't together anymore. We haven’t been for a while but
we spent many months together. Our relationship did eventually go sour (I am
sure you will hear about it in future blogs). The “love” wasn't enough to hold
us together. Eventually our lives took us in different directions. We still
keep in touch but mostly just short “hey how you been” conversations. I still care about him and still love him. I always will. But I am not in love with him. I haven't been for a long time. Our relationship had a lot of hurt and a lot of pain but I prefer
to remember the good. We had a lot of good memories in the time we spent
together. I am grateful I got to go through my first “love” experience with
him. They say you never forget your first love and I strongly believe that because
I will never forget him and the love we shared.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you are “too young” to be in
love. If you believe it is love it could be love. But when it is really love
you will know. You will never forget anything about the experience. You will
remember vividly every moment. Go out and fall with every ounce of your heart. Experience that first love feeling and be embraced in its awesomeness.
God Bless,
Country Cinderella
“Young love is when you love someone because of what they do right. Mature love is when you love someone in spite of what they do wrong.”
-Unkown
